Embracing your True Self |
Our true Self, in its essential state, is pure consciousness. This pure consciousness is our spiritual essence. Other attributes of consciousness are infinite silence, perfect balance, simplicity, knowledge, unity with God, pure love, peace, happiness and bliss. This is our true Self.
The true Self is not separate from God. To be more precise, the infinite tenderness of God is present in us right now. It does not mean the total loss of self. We remain uniquely whoever our present form is, but there is no possessiveness toward that uniqueness. To give all back to God in love, to let go and let God, that is the real work of everyday life.
The experience of the true Self means then that your internal reference point is your own spirit, and not the objects of your experience. To illustrate this, let me share a story that Guy Finley told in his book, “The Secret of Letting Go”. He speaks about a cuckoo bird’s habit of laying its eggs in the nest of other birds and leaving them there to hatch. She hides and waits until the nesting bird flies away, leaving its eggs unguarded. The cuckoo then quickly lays one of her own in the nest. The unsuspecting other bird returns and dutifully nestles down on what it believes to be its own clutch of eggs. The cuckoo chick hatches first and pushes the later, weaker hatchlings out of the nest. In this way, the parent birds, not realizing the switch has occurred, spend all their energies nurturing something that doesn't belong to them.
I agree with Finley when he concludes: “We too have been tricked into caring for a life that isn't really ours by unconsciously adopting a kind of substitute self.” This “substitute self” as he calls it is in essence what I call the false self or as Carl Jung calls it your “persona” and Freud calls the “ego”. This, however, is not who you really are. The ego or false self is your self-image; it is your social mask or better said, it is the role you are playing. This false self or social mask thrives on approval; it wants to control people and situations. Your true Self, which is your spirit, your soul, is completely free of these things. It feels beneath no one and it doesn't need to be validated by anyone. And yet, it is also humble, but feels superior to no one.
The true Self is not fear based. The need for approval, the need for external power, and the need to control are needs that are based on fear. And fear always distorts our perception and confuses us as to what really matters in life. Gerald Jampolsky's “Love is letting go of fear” explains it beautifully: “Love is the total absence of fear. Love asks no questions. Its natural state is one of extension and expansion, not comparison and measurement. Love, then, is really everything that is of value, and fear can offer us nothing because it is nothing.” When we experience the power of the true Self, there is an absence of fear, there is no compulsion to control, and no inner struggle for approval or dominance over external events.
A Chinese saying states: “When the archer shoots for no particular prize, he has all his skills; when he shoots to win a brass buckle, he is already nervous; when he shoots for a gold prize, he goes blind, sees two targets, and is out of his mind. His skill has not changed, but the prize divides him. He cares. He thinks more of winning than of shooting, and the need to win drains him of power.” The true Self already has all the skills: it is in a state of total relaxation, it has no need for winning or proving itself. But the false self over-identifies with the prize, needs the honor.
The spiritual journey begins when we become aware that our ordinary psychological consciousness is dominated by the false self with its programs for happiness and over-identification with our needs and fears. The spiritual journey involves an inner change of attitude beginning with the recognition of being out of contact with our true Self, and returning to our inmost being.
The true Self is at the core of your being, it’s your birthright, and it’s always present when you are not engaged in your thinking mind, social role or ego. It is your most natural state of mind and it’s where your wisdom lies. It is also the place where you’ll find true happiness and peace. It’s important to know that you were born with your true Self, it was not learned. But you did learn to live the false self, which implies that your unhappiness is a result of your own learning.
The first step in tapping into your true Self is to recognize that it exists and then simply have the desire to access it. This true Self exists independently of the external happenings of your life. It’s a state within you that you can learn to access. Remember who you really are, your true Self, is not a creation of your self. You can think yourself into a self of doubt and fear, but you cannot think yourself into security or happiness. Stop worrying about who you think you should be and start being who you are.